If your student loan keeps you awake at night, you’re not the only one. The debt monster that sleeps in the corner of your room all night is hungry for cash. It needs feeding. And you can’t just move town in a hurry and think you can leave it behind. That vagabond goes where you go.
Some 43 million student loan borrowers in the U.S. thought they might get their student loans forgiven by the government. Okay, maybe not all them. But quite a few thought their student loan was going away up until June 2023. There were borrowers who prayed fervently that Pastor Joe Biden and Sister Kamala Harris would waive their loans with a wave of their magical hands. They knew it would happen. They could feel it.
Alas, the relief pill never came. The Supreme Court went crazy at Pastor Joe and Sister Kamala. They said never show your faces ’round here again. The $430 billion relief scheme that the two had concocted slipped away. That would have been $20,000 for each borrower until it ran out. But with a 6 to 3 ruling, the Justices manhandled the scheme and kicked it out the door.
That leaves most student loan borrowers back where they were – circling the drain. It wasn’t so much that borrowers really needed forgiveness: what they needed was a way to pay back the loans. What they needed was ROI, not some drip feed income that has them holding their ribs in financial hunger.
What’s happening now?
Now in April 2024, Pastor Joe and Sister Kamala are at it again. They issued a proclamation to the gathering flock of indebted sheep. From the White House, they said “we will provide debt relief to over 30 million Americans.” Call me suspicious, but their new plan kind of sounds like their old plan. But you can’t knock their belief in the Almighty.
It’s also great news that you’ll get to meet Pastor Joe and Sister Kamala in person! All student loan borrowers, we were told by the White House announcement, would come to your place, eat Doritos, and just hold hands and pray that your student loan is going to vanish. This is what the announcement said:
“President Biden will travel to Madison, Wisconsin to announce these new plans, while Vice President Harris will travel to Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, Second Gentleman Douglas Emhoff will travel to Phoenix, Arizona, and Secretary of Education Miguel Cardona will travel to New York City to meet with borrowers benefitting from the Administration’s student debt relief actions.”
“President Joe Biden Outlines New Plans to Deliver Student Debt Relief to Over 30 Million Americans Under the Biden-Harris Administration”, The White House, April 08 2024
Thank goodness they’ve got Second Gentleman “Go Hard or Go Home” Douglas to help them. Otherwise how would they be able to meet face-to-face 43 million student loan borrowers in just a few days. And why, since we’re kind of curious, are all these borrowers only in six cities? But that’s the miracle of Pastor Joe and Sister Harris. They know what they’re doing in an election year. No doubt about it.
Great Expectations
In Great Expectations by Charles Dickens, the raggamuffin Pip believes that he will get his education paid off by Miss Havisham. She is a horrible old woman with some kind of emo-Victorian death wish. But she pays for Pip’s education so he puts up with the bad attitude. But **spoiler alert** Miss Havisham isn’t the Money G that Pip thought she was. The one who actually was paying for his education was the convict Magwitch. This guy ends up on death row.
It should come as no surprise that Paster Joe and Sister Harris are some kind of two-headed Miss Havisham. They keep the borrowers in a kind of morbid ecstasy believing that their student loan is going to be paid off. In other words, they give the hapless borrowers great expectations. But when it doesn’t happen, they blame someone or something (like the Supreme Court) and move on to their next forgiveness rally.
One thing’s for sure. There’s going to be no student loan forgiveness for the bulk of borrowers. Since the amount of student loans being issued never stops, it’s impossible that this would happen anyway. The student loans keep rolling on. It’s crazy profit for the lenders. Better than issuing credit cards or running a gambing ring. Business is booming! All Pastor Joe and Sister Harris have to do is issue a few words of comfort and the borrowers just go away. It’s that easy!